Hold It All

Tag: Pete Mosher

Presence

I had a shrine for a while
A photo collage of the greatest hits of your life
I meditated on it on those bright desolate winter days
Your effervescence somehow emanating
from the black and white photos
(much less so from the color)
I wanted to remember and I later realized
Forgetting was vital too

Can I say your presence has been like no other?
Yes and no Read the rest of this entry »

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Moments

Friday 6 December 2013

Dear Eileen

Thank you for being real
In an unreal time
Is it Death breathing down your neck
Or just another terrifying episode to the ER
1/8th step forward
40 meters back

You sent me the Facebook message early this morning
And then responded throughout the day
To my text messages

Then at Sasha’s at 5 p.m.
Just as John, Cab, and I were talking
You phoned me
And told me how upset, exhausted, undone you were
Up all night and at the hospital

I felt singled out
That you would share all of that
With me
You must know
I’ll receive and accept everything you say
Our lives converging in more ways than one

I’m available
I’m willing
Call me
Text me
Send someone to get me

All there is
Is this (shitty) present moment
The long road ahead
Full of moments

Heart-rending and awesome
Moments

Note: Pete Mosher died the next day, Saturday 7 December 2013  in the ICU at Barnes Jewish. He was 32.

Giddy: A Response to The Book of Mev by Lucy Hedges

Alexis Mary Lassus insisted I get to know Lucy Hedges. We met for the first time last summer at Local Harvest Café. Within the first ten minutes of sitting with her, I felt so at ease and at home. She sent me the following in a hand-written six-page letter recently. She will be doing a Share the Wealth soon on her life in nursing.

 

Dear Markus,

This is a long overdue book review on Book of Mev. I’m not sure why it took me so long. I think partly because it was so obviously well written, gut wrenchingly sad and real and uber tangible, yet so not tangible, that I felt like anything I told you about it, you already knew.

The chapter Face to Face/1 was exactly how any person would want their love story to begin. “A soul laugh, so refreshingly different from the superficial chitter chatter titters, hoots and sniggers heard on an all too regular basis. I wanted to fuse with that laugh.” Read the rest of this entry »

Live Life Now by Eileen McGrath Mosher

I recently came across this piece of correspondence from January 2006.

Mark,

I hardly know what to write. I just finished your book (minutes ago) and was so moved by your beautiful remembrance of your wife. Through the pages of the book I fell in love with a woman I will never meet. I was inspired to live life now, to take the poor and marginalized into my community and to do it in my own quiet, reflective way. Your book at times made me envious of Mev’s extrovertedness, her ability to light up the room and touch so many people! Many times in my life I have wanted to be that person, but those are not my gifts, and that is OK. I can be an activist through my actions, so I don’t have to use my words. Thank you for encouraging such reflections. But I digress!

It was such a pleasure to be invited into your intimate relationship. I felt as if we have been spending numerous hours together discussing life and love. The reality of your relationship with Mev feels so familiar to mine and Peter’s. Peter is such a public figure, able to impress the group with amazing writing and speaking, but I see all sides of him and know the failings he hides from others. I can relate to your position in the relationship and felt a kindred spirit in so many ways. Thank you for this. Thank you for always making me feel as if I was a better person, more committed to justice and to the poor than I ever was. You expected more so I gave more. I will always have a little Mark sitting on my shoulder as I continue making life decisions. I fear I will disappoint at times but know that I will always remain committed in my own way to the call I have witnessed in you, and through your book in Mev. I pray that we will be friends for a long time to come.

Please pardon the Natalie Goldberg-esque writing style, but I feel less pressure to be brilliant when the pen can just keep going.

In peace, in struggling, and in love,
Eileen McGrath

Pete and Eileen and Friends

Summer’s Lease Hath All Too Short a Date

Mev Puleo
Died at age 32
May her memory be a blessing

Dan Horkheimer
Died at age 29
May his memory be a blessing

Pete Mosher
Died at age 32
May his memory be a blessing

dan-and-courtneyCourtney Barreett and Dan Horkheimer, Karen House Food Storage Room, circa 2003

Pete and EileenPete Mosher and Eileen McGrath, Cincinnati wedding, summer 2004

North Endwith Mev in Boston’s North End, fall 1990

An Unbelievable Outgoingness of Heart

Two times
In the 90 minutes
After Pete was coded

Eileen said to me
In the ICU
“I’m so sorry you have to see all this”

The Bell Is for All of You

“Anything you are attached to, let it go.”
–Buddhist teaching

I gave that bell to Mev
25 years ago
It must have been sounded
10,000 times

Pete heard it
In fall of 2001
You heard it
In fall of 2002 Read the rest of this entry »

Grace Abounds (December 14, 2013)

The realization that Pete Mosher is made up of non-Pete Mosher elements
Jeremy’s stellar slideshow of the all-American family
John Kavanaugh & John Foley’s calming recording of “How Can I Can from Singing?”
Don Lassus playing the violin when the Mass is over
Katie and Jeremy’s precious recollections of their brother
Sitting, praying, aching beside Louise
Alliebaby answering my Twenty Questions
Subway sustenance
Lo’s poem
Jane screaming the way we wish we could (and maybe still will)
Eileen crying
Michael’s strength
Cab’s constancy
Words whispered to me by Janet McGrath
Eileen laughing

Alive beyond Alive

My friend Loyola works at  Mount Saint Joseph (she’s chair of the Art Department)  and knew Pete Mosher.  We reminisced last night and today before Pete’s funeral.  Cab picked me up at Lo’s  this morning and we went to Saint Clare’s Church on Cedar Avenue.  Lo sent the following to me this afternoon as Cab, Jane, Allison Lind, and I were returning to Saint Louis.
I meet Cab
(when she comes to get Markie for the funeral)
and suddenly I become aware
of all the forms that Pete is taking.
There she is, a new person to me, in her dark blue dress coat and shoes,
Michelle Disbennette brown hair,
thin delicate face with large eyes and a small serious smile “glad to meet you”
and in the muddy cold street, air silver with rain and the melting of snow
I see him, smiling,
see
All the forms he is now taking
All the beautiful, one-of-a-kind forms.
Alive beyond alive.