JOMO

by Mark Chmiel

Lecture by one of the septuagenarian luminaries of liberation theology
The unforeseen, ultra-disturbing developments in House of Cards
Spiff gala after the Oaks on May 2
The renowned pianist sponsored by one of our generous corporate benefactors
“She knows someone who knows someone who knows what Hilary’s really planning for 2016, wanna come?”
The relentlessly riveting drama of the NCAA tournament
Another white male messiah to speak about how we can save Africa (standing room only)
The Thursday night drink specials on Washington
A staggering amount for this week’s Powerball

–Ah, the joy of missing out

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